a merry christmas?
am i being sarcastic or what? mau is right.. i won't let one guy ruin my christmas.. one guy who i've waited for, one guy who i fell for,,..... one guy who i love so much... argh!! enough! my cousin even demanded (well, not actually) me to get through with it before 12mn.. i know that's soooo hard... 'cause i can't even erase him from my head!!! like awhile ago.. when he texted me.. i didn't know what to do!! i was trying to seem okay.. i was *pretending* to be okay with our sitch.. but deep inside, i know i can't.. my cousin noticed that.... i even told him "kaya nga gusto ko makausap si alvin eh.. nakakalimutan ko mga problema ko..." he lent me his phone and i called up alvin.. suddenly, i started to cry... tears flowed... di ko na kinayang itago! i was scared..... nahiya pa nga ako sa cousin ko eh... sakto nga! when i was crying, tumalikod ako.. humarap ako sa bintana tas biglang may pumasok sa room.. i appreciated my cousin nung pinalabas nya ung sister nia... i couldn't hold it any longer.. nilabas ko na lang sa pinsan ko.... he understood me naman... atleast, db? i even apologized kasi, sya lang mapagsasabihan ko... sya lang ang may alam... when they were about to leave.. sabi ko "sensya na ha..." naluluha pa ako nun!! sabi ng cuz ko "san?" sabi ko naman... "ung kanina....." haiii.............. so this is how it feels.... this is how having a broken heart feels....................
