fate?

Have you tried avoiding someone? It wasn't that easy, was it? Especially, if the one you're trying to avoid, is your bestfriend. Fate sometimes gets in the way. Intentional? I don't know. But how much you tend to avoid him, the more fate draws him closer to you.

That's what I've been doing for almost a year now. And so does he. I really don't know what really happened, I just figured that my bestfriend is avoiding me. It started at the end of our soph year in HS. You guys know how it is to get in an arguement with your bestfriend. After the fight, you tend to become closer and your bond gets stronger. That's what we've been having everytime we argue. But the last one, was a different story.

It was just a petty argument. Nothing serious, nothing big, just plain petty. I couldn't stay mad at him since he was my bestfriend. So, I let my pride down and apologized (though I really don't have any reason to be sorry). He apologized, too. But our apologies were through text. So, I thought everything we'll go back to normal the next day. Unfortunately, it wasn't like that.

I went inside the classroom thinking that I would be spending the day with every one of my classmates (since it was the last day). The moment I saw him, I felt something. It wasn't anything good. I knew, right then and there, that everything would change. He had that look in his eyes that seemed to want to talk to me, yet something's holding him back. Just like what I was feeling. The whole day, we felt awkward -- every one of our classmates felt that whenever they come near us. I felt sad, I didn't know why it was like that. I wanted to ask him, but it seems I couldn't. The fact that I know him so well, makes me think "he'd just snob me.." or something like that. I was really sad that we had to part ways like that. And up to now, Junior year is coming to its end, we still don't talk.

I always see him. I always bump into him. But I never wanted those moments. Everyday, I feel bad whenever I see him. You know that feeling.... when you're 100% sure that the other person feels it, too.? just like love, but this one, it's more of awkwardness. I don't know why, or how, but it seems every freakin' day, we see each other.

Sometimes I just want to walk up to him and tell him everything I feel. But in the back of my mind, I know I can't do it. Sometimes, i think he wouldn't talk to me, he would just pass by me. Sometimes I feel like he doesn't care, like he forgot about me... That he forgot that I existed. But there are times that prove me wrong. Actually, everytime un.. everytime I catch him looking at me.....